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How to be an alien, page 1 of 7

By Boris Prezlocki

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How would you like to be an alien
in the mythical country of Varsovia?
How about the lack of money, the insecurity, the discrimination and the lack of freedom?
Would you like to be treated like a criminal?
Would you like get a job in Varsovia?
And would you like to live in fear?

The movies

How would you like to be an alien in the mythical country of Varsovia? Varsovia and the Varsovian way of life are promoted all over the world. The promotion occurs mainly through movies that feature fictitious characters and fictitious scripts made in Varsovia. And because the Varsovian movies look too good to be true, and because the Varsovian movies are screened all over the world, and because the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence, and because humans have the natural proclivity to want what they cannot have, there are many foreigners (aliens) who get attracted to Varsovia. However, the Varsovian reality is not the fiction you see in the Varsovian movies.

The cops

How would you like to be an alien in the mythical country of Varsovia?
Varsovian cops have been idolized in Varsovian movies and TV programs. However, contrary to what you see in the movies, the Varsovian cops aren't supermen. They're jackbooted goons with badges who have lost touch with reality. In contrast to superman the Varsovian cops control you by intimidation and trickery. In contrast to superman they're no more honest or careful than the average Varsovian citizen. In contrast to superman they don't even learn from their mistakes.

In contrast to superman the Varsovian cops feel threatened, even if you just watch them for two minutes. In contrast to superman they exhibit high confidence but low competence. In contrast to superman they're largely unaccountable. For starters the media covers for them by burying their names. At illegal "checkpoints" they stop you for no reason, conduct warrantless searches by trickery and intimidation, detain or handcuff you without cause and chase petty thieves through the streets at 100 miles an hour, endangering the lives of everyone — in the name of public safety.

In contrast to superman, they make split second decisions and throw the constitution out the window. In contrast to superman they raid your house, break down your door at 4 am and make stupendous mistakes. However, they never admit any of their mistakes and never apologize. Why? Because, at best, they're no more honest or careful than the average Varsovian citizen. And, at worst, they're evil and vindictive. In contrast to superman they don't even care whether you're guilty or innocent. They only care about whether or not they can make the Varsovian judge believe you're guilty. ...More >>

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