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How to tell your friend is using you, page 3 of 3

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If you're in the habit of providing things or services to him, you need to stop. Stop because, until you call him out on it, he will only abuse your kindness. I mean it's okay to help a friend every once in a while, but not without any reciprocity.

How do you do it? Become more aware of his games, and be careful of what you say when he's around. Why? Because, if you're not assertive, he will likely take advantage of your kindness.

Confront him

You need to confront him calmly and assertively. Ideally it should be a one-on-one situation in a comfortable setting. Look straight into his eyes.

Don't joke around. You want him to know you're being serious. Question him on his actions. Tell him your reasons for suspecting he is using you. He may have a reasonable explanation...


Apologize if you're wrong; or make him apologize if you're right.

Get rid of him

If you confront him, and if he is sensitive, chances are he won't want to be your friend anymore.

And, if he has been using you, you don't want to be his friend either, because you don't need users in your life.

Clean out your closet

If you have users in your life, the choice is yours. Breaking free from them will lead to a greater happiness in your life.

Because you'll be able to spend more time with your real friends. And because you'll have real friends who are interested in you, rather than what they can get out of you. Therefore I suggest every couple of years you stop and think about your friends, and walk away from those who always ask something of you, but give little of their time to you.

If they ask you why they haven't seen you around, just tell them the truth because, even with the truth, most people never seem to get what a true friend is.

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